round and round

my heart is melted within me.
i am so distraught over the realizations that i must continually make. i can't seem to stop wanting. i want flesh and blood. i desire relation. i want to know and be known and i guess i have no right to want it. i am full up with what counts, so why can't i forget this feeling.

there's no space

keep it secret
but safe is a far cry from my true location. i am living in fear of your loving me. i don't believe i don't believe i don't believe and how dare i not? something is getting in the way of something. i don't know what i want or what i should have. i am getting in the way, but i am pure. i am pure.

zippers

desperado.
i am a desperate girl. not pushing for something i want, but having been pushed to the point that i will fight to live. and living, living isn't that exciting. i want to be in love with you, but you are perfectly awful.

saturday is a big day in someone's life.
for me, it is the day that i take down the pictures a married man gave me before he was married.

the amicable annihilation of everything artistic

dear art,

you should know you stand no chance against the incessant flailings of my power saw arms. bid your fair family, literature and the like, farewell. this will be the last you see of them and me. the last you see of the outside. you'll be buried soundly in the earth to disperse amongst the roots and weeds. i assume you will resume growth upon recognizing that it is achieved only after excessive pruning (for which you can depend upon me). i thought you'd like to know you have a friend in your desperate times.